Welcome!

Conversations with Jess is going to be just that: a blog about conversations that I or others have with my autistic sister. As those of you who have worked with special needs kids before will know that they truly do say some of the darnedest things, and they help remind us that sometimes in life we just need to sit back, relax and have a good laugh or two. So I hope this blog helps you to do just that. I will also attach a link to donate to the national autism center if you would like to do so. Please, feel no need to donate, this is simply my way of attempting to give back a little bit, not only to (hopefully) the reader through these stories, but also to my sister and the other kids with mental disabilities who have touched my life. Finally, I would just like to say thank you for being here, and I hope you enjoy.


God Bless.
http://www.nationalautismcenter.org/donate_now.php
https://twitter.com/Convos_W_Jess
Lost and tired

New Neighbors

A conversation with Jess as new neighbors are moving in:

Jess: Hey did you see that big truck at that house?
Dad: Yep, looks like we have some new neighbors coming in.
Jess: Hey stop being busy.
Dad: Busy?
Jess: Yeah you are staring at the truck and watching.
Dad: I'm not being busy, I'm being nosy... Wait I am not being nosy!
Jess: Yeah well pish posh.

Moral of the story: Don't be nosy.
God Bless.
http://www.nationalautismcenter.org/donate_now.php
https://twitter.com/Convos_W_Jess

Headaches

A conversation between my parents and Jess

Mom: When we get home I need so Aspirin, I have a bad headache.
Jess: I think Dave Matthews gets headaches.
Dad: Huh?
Jess: Dave Matthews gets headaches.
Dad: Um, ok, he probably does, but why did that pop into your head.
Jess: Hey look, balloons on someone's mailbox, must be someone's birthday.
Dad: So we're done talking about Dave Matthews and his headaches?
Jess: What? Dad you're weird.

Moral of the story: Dave Matthews most likely gets headaches.
God Bless.
http://www.nationalautismcenter.org/donate_now.php
https://twitter.com/Convos_W_Jess

Nose Picking

Conversation between my parents and Jess in the car one day:

Jess: Hey look, a lady picking her nose.
Mom: Huh, I don't see anyone.
Jess: Dad picks his nose.
Dad: What?! When?
Jess: The other day when you picked me up from yoga.
Dad: I think you have it wrong.
Jess: Nope, I said, "Dad ewwww quit picking your nose" and you said "back off". *starts laughing*
Dad: Ok a few things, I would not pick my nose in front of a bunch of other people, and then tell my daughter to back off when she tells me to stop.
*Mom and Jess both laughing*
Jess: How embarrassing!

Moral of the story: Be very careful who you pick your nose in front of.
God Bless.
http://www.nationalautismcenter.org/donate_now.php
https://twitter.com/Convos_W_Jess

Towel Placement

My mom went out of town one week for work, leaving my dad to play Mr. Mom. The following conversation ensued:

(Jess is getting out of the shower)
Dad: Ok,  Jess, wrap this towel around you and I will come back in and help you shave your pits.
Jess: Pits, that funny dad.
*moment of silence*
Jess: OK Dad I'm ready.
My dad walks back into the bathroom to see Jess with the towel wrapped around her head, not her body, with her arms in the air.

Moral of the story: Be very specific about towel placement.
God Bless.
http://www.nationalautismcenter.org/donate_now.php
https://twitter.com/Convos_W_Jess

That's funny

Here is a quick conversation my cousins Molly and Megan had with Jess over Thanksgiving:

Jess: Megan, you are a funny cousin. Molly you are a funny cousin too.
Molly: I am funnier than Megan though.
Jess: Nope.
Molly: Yeah, I am pretty funny.
Jess: Yeah, funny lookin!

Moral of the story: If you receive a compliment, just take it and run.
God bless.
http://www.nationalautismcenter.org/donate_now.php
https://twitter.com/Convos_W_Jess

Wait... who's that?

Pre-Thanksgiving conversation with Jess

Dad: We are going to Mom's (my grandma) then we are going to Marty and Kathy's
Jess: Wait, wait, wait, who is mom?
Dad: Marcie.
Jess: Wait, Marcie is your mom?!
Dad: Yeah, who did you think she was all this time that we have being going to her house on holidays?
Jess: I don't know.
Dad: Who do you think Grandpa is?
Jess: Old!?

Moral of the story: Grandparents are confusing.
God bless.
http://www.nationalautismcenter.org/donate_now.php
https://twitter.com/