New Neighbors

A conversation with Jess as new neighbors are moving in:

Jess: Hey did you see that big truck at that house?
Dad: Yep, looks like we have some new neighbors coming in.
Jess: Hey stop being busy.
Dad: Busy?
Jess: Yeah you are staring at the truck and watching.
Dad: I'm not being busy, I'm being nosy... Wait I am not being nosy!
Jess: Yeah well pish posh.

Moral of the story: Don't be nosy.
God Bless.
http://www.nationalautismcenter.org/donate_now.php
https://twitter.com/Convos_W_Jess

Headaches

A conversation between my parents and Jess

Mom: When we get home I need so Aspirin, I have a bad headache.
Jess: I think Dave Matthews gets headaches.
Dad: Huh?
Jess: Dave Matthews gets headaches.
Dad: Um, ok, he probably does, but why did that pop into your head.
Jess: Hey look, balloons on someone's mailbox, must be someone's birthday.
Dad: So we're done talking about Dave Matthews and his headaches?
Jess: What? Dad you're weird.

Moral of the story: Dave Matthews most likely gets headaches.
God Bless.
http://www.nationalautismcenter.org/donate_now.php
https://twitter.com/Convos_W_Jess

Nose Picking

Conversation between my parents and Jess in the car one day:

Jess: Hey look, a lady picking her nose.
Mom: Huh, I don't see anyone.
Jess: Dad picks his nose.
Dad: What?! When?
Jess: The other day when you picked me up from yoga.
Dad: I think you have it wrong.
Jess: Nope, I said, "Dad ewwww quit picking your nose" and you said "back off". *starts laughing*
Dad: Ok a few things, I would not pick my nose in front of a bunch of other people, and then tell my daughter to back off when she tells me to stop.
*Mom and Jess both laughing*
Jess: How embarrassing!

Moral of the story: Be very careful who you pick your nose in front of.
God Bless.
http://www.nationalautismcenter.org/donate_now.php
https://twitter.com/Convos_W_Jess

Towel Placement

My mom went out of town one week for work, leaving my dad to play Mr. Mom. The following conversation ensued:

(Jess is getting out of the shower)
Dad: Ok,  Jess, wrap this towel around you and I will come back in and help you shave your pits.
Jess: Pits, that funny dad.
*moment of silence*
Jess: OK Dad I'm ready.
My dad walks back into the bathroom to see Jess with the towel wrapped around her head, not her body, with her arms in the air.

Moral of the story: Be very specific about towel placement.
God Bless.
http://www.nationalautismcenter.org/donate_now.php
https://twitter.com/Convos_W_Jess

That's funny

Here is a quick conversation my cousins Molly and Megan had with Jess over Thanksgiving:

Jess: Megan, you are a funny cousin. Molly you are a funny cousin too.
Molly: I am funnier than Megan though.
Jess: Nope.
Molly: Yeah, I am pretty funny.
Jess: Yeah, funny lookin!

Moral of the story: If you receive a compliment, just take it and run.
God bless.
http://www.nationalautismcenter.org/donate_now.php
https://twitter.com/Convos_W_Jess

Wait... who's that?

Pre-Thanksgiving conversation with Jess

Dad: We are going to Mom's (my grandma) then we are going to Marty and Kathy's
Jess: Wait, wait, wait, who is mom?
Dad: Marcie.
Jess: Wait, Marcie is your mom?!
Dad: Yeah, who did you think she was all this time that we have being going to her house on holidays?
Jess: I don't know.
Dad: Who do you think Grandpa is?
Jess: Old!?

Moral of the story: Grandparents are confusing.
God bless.
http://www.nationalautismcenter.org/donate_now.php
https://twitter.com/

Autism Speaks

More of a serious post here. It has recently come to my attention the negative image in which Autism Speaks is viewed in the Autism community. Originally through this blog I had linked to a team page to the Autism Speaks for viewers who wished to donate, however in light of recent facts I have since taken it down. I will instead be adding a link to the National Autism Center should anybody still wish to donate. I apologize for anybody who may have been offended by my negligence. More conversations with Jess coming up soon!

God Bless
http://www.nationalautismcenter.org/donate_now.php

Caller ID fail

This happened to my Dad the other day.

My dad is busy working when his cellphone rings, so he checks the caller ID to find that it is my mom. So, my father feeling cheeky answers with "Shawn's pleasure palace, how can I help you?". However, to his horror, to voice on the other end was not my mom, but rather Jess. Her response: "Dad what the heck did you just say? What is that anyway? Mom do you know what dad said?!"

Moral of the story: No matter what caller ID says, always answer it expecting anybody.
God Bless.
http://www.nationalautismcenter.org/donate_now.php
https://twitter.com/Convos_W_Jess

Bathroom conversation

This happened to my dad the other day.

My dad is walking up the stairs and hears a conversation between my mom and Jess. As he walks in the bedroom he sees my mom and asks, "I thought you were talking to Jess?"she says "I am" and points the the bathroom, where he sees Jess sitting on the toilet half naked! He averts my eyes and whispers "how can you have a conversation with someone on the toilet?" Then he hears "Hey dad I want to tell you something" to which he replies, "Um no lets talk later" Jess says "But why, what's the matter?" As he is walking down the steps, he once again hears Jess, exasperated, "Geez what's his problem?"

Moral of the story: conversations with people on the toilet are perfectly normal.
God Bless.
http://www.nationalautismcenter.org/donate_now.php

https://twitter.com/Convos_W_Jess

Darn Rules

This is, quite possibly, my all time favorite conversation with Jess story. It's a conversation Jess and my dad had while driving home from school one day.

Jess: Dad, I want to get on the phone when I get home.
Dad: You know the rules, you can't get on the phone until I'm off work or your mom gets home.
Jess: That's stupid.
Dad: Excuse me?
Jess: No, you're stupid.
Dad: What?!
Jess: No, mommy is stupid.
Dad: Getting worse.
Jess: No, I'm stupid. Is that ok?
Dad: No, it's not ok.
*crickets*
Jess: You're a beautiful dad.
Dad: Thanks Jess.
Jess: Now can I get on the phone? Oh and Don't tell mom.

There is no moral to this one, just some laughs.
God Bless
http://www.nationalautismcenter.org/donate_now.php

https://twitter.com/Convos_W_Jess

Best day ever?

Here is a conversation my dad and Jess had picking her up from school one day

Dad: How was your day?
Jess: Ok.
Dad: Was it ok or good?
Jess: Good.
Dad: Was it good or great?
Jess: Great.
Dad: Was it great or fantastic?
Jess: Fantastic.
Dad: Was it?
Jess: Dad stop.
Dad: Was it fantastic or phenomenal?
Jess: Phenomenal.
Dad: Was it phenomenal or the best day ever?
Jess: *sighs* I'm gonna go back to good.

Moral of the story: There are no best days ever at school
God bless.
http://www.nationalautismcenter.org/donate_now.php
https://twitter.com/Convos_W_Jess

Exercise is Stupid

Here is a conversation that my parents had with Jess the other day.

As my parents and Jess were going to the store to get some Christmas lights, my dad realizes that he missed a spot close to the store
Dad: Darn, we could have parked much closer.
Mom: That's ok, its good exercise!
Jess: *visibly upset* (mumbling) stupid exercise...

Moral of the story: Don't ever pass up that front spot.
God Bless
http://www.nationalautismcenter.org/donate_now.php
https://twitter.com/Convos_W_Jess

Hump Day Birthday

A conversation my dad had with Jess

Jess: Hey dad you are lucky.
Dad: Why is that?
Jess: Because your birthday is on a wednesday
Dad: *cue confusion* why is that lucky?
Jess: Because you can say that your birthday is on hummmmmmp daayyyyyyy just like the camel in the commercial.

Moral of the story: hump day birthdays are always the best.
God Bless.
http://www.nationalautismcenter.org/donate_now.php
https://twitter.com/Convos_W_Jess

Snow vs Chips

This is a conversation that my dad had with Jess just the other night:

As my dad is getting ready to go out and shovel the snow, he sees my sister about to sit down with a bag of chips and some salsa.
My mom: Hey Jess, why aren't you going to help your dad shovel?
Jess: I got side tracked.
Moral of the story; chips and salsa>shoveling snow.

God Bless.
http://www.nationalautismcenter.org/donate_now.php
https://twitter.com/Convos_W_Jess